A few months ago, former National Security Advisor John Bolton wrote a memoir, which—like literally every other memoir to come out of the White House—portrays Trump in an unflattering light. Poor Donald Trump had to tweet a frowny-face emoji. But, every once in a while, someone special comes along in your life… someone so thoughtful, so supportive, so sycophantic, that she sees you for who you really are: a stepping stone to her own run at political office. Pick up your copy of Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ new book: Speaking for Myself: Faith, Freedom, and the Fight of our Lives Inside the Trump White House It’s the heartwarming true story of how to flatter your boss so that he endorses your Arkansas gubernatorial bid. The first of its kind, this memoir tries hard to make Trump seem stable, focused, and anything other than a foreign asset. But, trying not to come on too strong, too soon, Sarah admits that Trump failed to send a “clear message to Russia… not to interfere in our election.” That’s okay, though, because Trump never admitted that Russia did actually interfere. Portraying her former boss as supportive and empathetic, she writes, “he defended me and reaffirmed me when the feminists and liberals were tearing me down with cruel and dehumanizing personal attacks.” Elsewhere, she accidentally undercuts that entire claim by describing Trump’s degrading behavior and his offense to her Christian sensibilities. For instance, when he goaded Sanders, a married mother of three, to have sex with Kim Jong Un. “Sir, please stop,” she implored as Trump used an expletive in describing the North Korean dictator’s affections for her. Trump continued and, in Sarah’s own words, “howled with laughter.” What a beautiful affirmation! That’s how real men defend the women they love. I bet those feminists are eating their words now. ‘Speaking for Myself’ by Sarah Huckabee Sanders—available at Hudson Booksellers, at any Airport terminal in the US, next to the Imodium, the tampons, and the inflatable neck pillows.